Angie's CVS Story - 1 day in my life living with CVS
I have a chronic illness, an invisible illness. You may observe me sitting here trying to smile and look fine, but let me educate you on what you don’t notice in these few minutes you’re looking at me, in this hour you’ve spent with me or at this appointment I've surprisingly managed to get to.
This morning I woke up in pain again, feeling nauseous and thinking here we go again. It's 11:00am and I'm waking up late again as I was up until the early hours of the morning as usual in pain and unable to sleep. Before I have even dragged myself out of bed I’m feeling apprehensive about the day ahead. I have things to do, at this point I don’t know if any of them are within the bounds of possibility, but I don’t give up hope. I walk to the bathroom and proceed to vomit. Once I feel able to withdraw from the bathroom I go and force myself to make a drink, but remember I’m still in lots of pain and nauseous. I get dressed and reluctantly start my day. The pain is dreadful, but be mindful of the fact that I’m still putting on a brave face. I eventually think about trying do the dishes, feed the animals and do the laundry, but take into consideration I’m nauseous, doing the dishes and feeding animals causes me to feel even worse, so I vomit once more and my husband takes over. My husband usually does the housework as I'm too unwell to do anything. I’ve survived so far, so let’s keep this courageous face on and try to accomplish something.
I have an arrangement to meet with a friend but I feel awful. I don’t want to cancel as I've done that many times before because of this illness and I’m determined not to cancel again. I start to get ready but the pain is horrendous so I reluctantly take my painkillers. I put on plenty of makeup to cover my ashen skin, at this point I already have no energy left but I must carry on. I vomit once more and touch up my makeup again. I’m anxious about leaving the house as I’ve vomited three times already but I must try. Eventually manage to get out of the door, but as usual I’m now running late. I get to my meeting place and apologize for being late again, at last I can now ease up a bit, but remember I’m still in pain, nauseous and worried I may start to vomit. I'm apprehensive but I carry on displaying that fearless face throughout my meeting because the last thing I want is any pity. I finish my get together and I make my way home. I try to work on things that need doing for the CVS Network like updating the website, creating posters, videos and sharing content via social media, but take into account I’m doing all this while I'm in pain and nauseous. I sit down and reflect on my day then I become dejected given that this is all my future has to offer me and this is the hand I'm dealt. Struggling every day and trying to keep that brave face on is exhausting and challenging, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. All I can do is treat my symptoms with medication and hope tomorrow will be a better day.
What you’ve read above is a relatively good day. My daily symptoms are usually pain, nausea and vomiting. I also suffer with depression as a direct result of my illness among other things. You see, I have cyclic vomiting syndrome (CVS) I not only have to deal with my daily symptoms, I also have full episodes which consist of vomiting every 5 to 10 minutes for hours or even days at a time and excruciating pain that often lands me in hospital. It’s extremely difficult to live with, but when I have these so-called good days I try to make the most of them.
CVS sufferers don’t want pity, they want understanding, and that’s all anybody with a chronic illness really wants.
By Angie Aldridge
Founder of CVS Network
This morning I woke up in pain again, feeling nauseous and thinking here we go again. It's 11:00am and I'm waking up late again as I was up until the early hours of the morning as usual in pain and unable to sleep. Before I have even dragged myself out of bed I’m feeling apprehensive about the day ahead. I have things to do, at this point I don’t know if any of them are within the bounds of possibility, but I don’t give up hope. I walk to the bathroom and proceed to vomit. Once I feel able to withdraw from the bathroom I go and force myself to make a drink, but remember I’m still in lots of pain and nauseous. I get dressed and reluctantly start my day. The pain is dreadful, but be mindful of the fact that I’m still putting on a brave face. I eventually think about trying do the dishes, feed the animals and do the laundry, but take into consideration I’m nauseous, doing the dishes and feeding animals causes me to feel even worse, so I vomit once more and my husband takes over. My husband usually does the housework as I'm too unwell to do anything. I’ve survived so far, so let’s keep this courageous face on and try to accomplish something.
I have an arrangement to meet with a friend but I feel awful. I don’t want to cancel as I've done that many times before because of this illness and I’m determined not to cancel again. I start to get ready but the pain is horrendous so I reluctantly take my painkillers. I put on plenty of makeup to cover my ashen skin, at this point I already have no energy left but I must carry on. I vomit once more and touch up my makeup again. I’m anxious about leaving the house as I’ve vomited three times already but I must try. Eventually manage to get out of the door, but as usual I’m now running late. I get to my meeting place and apologize for being late again, at last I can now ease up a bit, but remember I’m still in pain, nauseous and worried I may start to vomit. I'm apprehensive but I carry on displaying that fearless face throughout my meeting because the last thing I want is any pity. I finish my get together and I make my way home. I try to work on things that need doing for the CVS Network like updating the website, creating posters, videos and sharing content via social media, but take into account I’m doing all this while I'm in pain and nauseous. I sit down and reflect on my day then I become dejected given that this is all my future has to offer me and this is the hand I'm dealt. Struggling every day and trying to keep that brave face on is exhausting and challenging, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. All I can do is treat my symptoms with medication and hope tomorrow will be a better day.
What you’ve read above is a relatively good day. My daily symptoms are usually pain, nausea and vomiting. I also suffer with depression as a direct result of my illness among other things. You see, I have cyclic vomiting syndrome (CVS) I not only have to deal with my daily symptoms, I also have full episodes which consist of vomiting every 5 to 10 minutes for hours or even days at a time and excruciating pain that often lands me in hospital. It’s extremely difficult to live with, but when I have these so-called good days I try to make the most of them.
CVS sufferers don’t want pity, they want understanding, and that’s all anybody with a chronic illness really wants.
By Angie Aldridge
Founder of CVS Network
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